When I became a parent, I fully expected my speech patterns to change a bit. I knew I'd be hearing a lot more phrases like "You can't do that," "Please wait," "In a minute," and the now infamous "Can you hear me?" (That last one follows a family tradition. My mother used to say it to us over and over again, and I thought it was the dumbest question. Of course I can hear you. I'm just not responding. Derp.)
Still, I was not prepared for the string of utterly ridiculous words that leave my mouth on a daily basis. An outsider listening in would think I've lost my damn mind. So for your enjoyment (and my memory) here's a list of the top ten ridiculous things I have said this week.
- Why would you put your jammies in the potty?
- Which one of you wants to give Superman his milk?
- Don't worry, someday you'll be big enough for wine.
- When people are outside, they wear pants.
- Caterpillars are our friends!
- Your sister is not your bed!
- Don't lick the windows, please.
- Okay, I'm going to flush the toilet by myself.
- No! I will not open my sunglasses!
- Come here, let me kiss your bum.
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hehe.
ReplyDeleteMy favorites?
ReplyDeleteWe do not wear toast as a hat.
You may jump on my bed, but you need to put on underpants first.
The window licking and pants wearing are common phrases here. Also:
ReplyDelete"when Daddy gets home you'll need to start wearing you panties"
"Stop tasting your sister"
"no I don't want to taste your boogers"
Too funny! Sometimes I'm amazed at what comes out of my mouth!
ReplyDeleteBwaahahaha! fricken' hilarious.. :-)
ReplyDeleteyou should have a go at this award i've been running: The Torkona Award. Your First Born Birth Story. I'd reckon you'd do a crack up job :-) if yur interested, of course.
keep up the funny posts, that was a good idea hehehe. Following you now..
- tork
Hilarious! There are a lot of phrases that surprise me as a mom. As someone else mentioned, "Stop licking your sister/brother." has been has been a popular one in our house. My toddler thinks that is so funny.
ReplyDeleteI'm now recycling some of my ridiculous phrases with each of my kids, "Don't eat the sand!" is my most recent.
Your fine to use the my post. I'm loving you blog, by the way. :)
Love it. almost peed my pants!
ReplyDeleteLove the wine comment. Just yesterday, my adorable 3 year old asked for beer with his dinner. If only that were legal...
ReplyDeletejust found your blog. :)