Fun fact about preschools here: Did you know the registration takes place in January? In January! For the next year. January.
See, my thought was, welp, the school year just ended, guess it's time to call for the next one.
How silly.
Thankfully, since you have to pay for your three year olds to go to school here, there are spaces left in several schools, and the administrators are all about getting their tens of thousands of dollars from me, so they didn't make too much of a fuss about it.
Still, it wasn't a great way to start the phone conversation.
"Hi, I've got twins and I'm looking into enrolling them in some preschool classes."
"Oh. Well, registration was in January, so..." (you're pretty much the laziest worst parent ever. Hahaha at trying to enroll now, you silly know-nothing mom).
"Well, they'll be three in August."
"Oh! Well, let me transfer you then. I think we still have space."
Oh, I see. So, okay, great. They have room for three year olds who are potty trained. That's us. I listen to the hold music.
"Hi, so and so daycare, can I help you?"
"I'm thinking of signing my twins up for preschool. Is this a preschool or a daycare."
"It's both."
"...oh. Well, okay, anyway, they'll be three in August. Do you have classes available."
"Yes, have you taken a tour?"
(No! Am I supposed to take a tour before I call?)
"Um, no, but I'd like to."
"Okay, great. Who else have you called?"
(What? Why is this any of your business?)
"Um, so and so, so and so, and so and so."
"Oh, well, you'll want to come to us. We're better than them."
(I swear to you, they said this. Two of them said this.)
"Okay, well, I'm looking forward to coming in, but first, could you tell me how much you charge for two days and fulltime?"
"...Don't you have any other questions first?"
(No! I do not have any other questions first. Everything is on your website. Please. Please. Please! Tell me how much you cost so I know whether or not I'm wasting everyone's time! Why is this so difficult?)
"Um, okay. What is your curriculum for younger kids?"
"It's on the website."
"Right, I saw that. Thought maybe you'd have something to add. Okay, then. How do you handle disciplining children?"
"It's on our website."
"Right. I saw that, too. Okay. Are you religious or secular?"
"It's..."
"Right, I know. Okay, well, how do you deal with clingers?"
"Well, that's never as much as an issue as the parent thinks it will be. The kids love it here. They won't want to come home afterward. I wouldn't even worry about it."
(Oh. Well, that was helpful. Not.)
"Okay, so how much does it cost, two days versus full ime."
"Well, it's $3,000 for two days a week. $7,000 for full time."
"Okay, thanks."
Pregnant pause.
"Don't you have any other questions?"
(Shit, I'm supposed have more questions? What am I supposed to be asking here? I really need to see the place before I get specific with my questions. Am I the worst, most uncaring mom ever, or what?)
"Well, not right now. I'd like to come in for a tour, if that's possible."
"Okay, call us next week to set up."
"Well, can't we set up now?"
"Well, we could...but I'm sure you want to call other schools first to check out your options."
(Goddamn it, no. I just want to set up a tour, please. I'd prefer you not dictate my phoning for me. Also, didn't you ask if I'd taken a tour already? This is so confusing.)
"Uh, okay. I'll do that."
So, I guess you could say I'm having an interesting experience with this preschool thing so far.
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