An Open Letter to Parents Checking Out Library DVDs

Dear PCOLDVDs,

Is it really necessary to run a chainsaw over the discs before returning them to the library? I mean, I get it. I have two three-year-old girls. Things happen. Sometimes a scratch is inevitable. But even if there are scores of us eagerly awaiting returns so that we can gain a few minutes of peace here and there with the aid of a free movie or show collection, the discs shouldn't look like they've been chewed on. Seriously.

It's to the point where the girls and I check out five DVDs at a time in the hopes that one of them will play at least halfway through before stopping entirely. Skips, freezes and pauses don't even phase us anymore. If that DVD is playing at all, even haltingly, we are thankful.

And I know now not to hype up any DVD we take out. Because it won't play. They never do.

So, in the interest of all of us, I thought I'd post a little how-to. This will help you, other parents and children, and the librarians with librarian degrees.

How to play a DVD from the library that other people will eventually also want to use:

1) Open the case. Stick your thumb in the indentation, and pry open. Don't use too much force. You want it to pop open, not spring. You don't want the DVD to come flying out.

2) Press the popper in the middle of the DVD case down gently with your thumb. This should loosen the DVD.

3) Insert your thumb into the hole, and wrap your fingers around the outside of the thin rim. Wait! Not too much. You don't want your fingerprints on the bottom of the disc. You see, that's where the disc's information is.

4) Open your DVD player by pressing the on button, then the eject button. No! Not with the hand holding the DVD. Use the other hand.

5) Carefully place the DVD (shiny side down!) into your player, then press the eject button again (you can use either hand this time).

Your DVD should be ready to play!

Here are some things you should not do:

- DON'T let your child play with the DVD.
- NO sitting on the DVD, scraping the DVD against the wall, floor, dollhouse or toybox.
- REMEMBER, DVDs are not paper for coloring!
- DVDs are not Frisbees.
- DON'T take your DVD outside. It's an inside toy.

A few reminders:

- Keep DVD away from power tools.
- Tape and scissors are not appropriate around DVDs.
- DVDs are not mirrors.
- They're also not nail filers.
- Although it will be tempting, don't use your DVDs as plateware. On that note, remember, DVDs are not food. Don't let your children chew on them.

Most importantly, if you have accidentally ruined your borrowed DVD, it's okay! Things happen. Have some decency and report it to the librarian instead of putting it back on the shelf, please.

Using this as an instructional tool, I feel confident we can all start borrowing DVDs from the library with the confidence that they will work as intended when we get them home.

I thank you for your cooperation,




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