You're talking and talking and talking, but your kid can't hear you. Or more accurately, your kid is blatantly ignoring you, your presence not registering on his preschooler radar. I've written about this here, because it's a big deal around here lately. But I've been fighting it, and I've found a few things that seem to be working, at least in the short term.
Solution:
One of the ways to fight this is to ask them to acknowledge you. I'll usually end my statements with "okay?" And I know they heard it, I know they did. So, sometimes I'll say, "say okay, mommy." And they do. And after a few days of this, they begin saying okay as a habit. Now, I'm not sure if this is purely a voiced repetition, or if they are actually listening and saying okay, but they do tend to do what I've asked if they say okay. Another benefit of this is that if they don't do it, I can come back and remind them of the incident. "You said okay, remember?" They nod thoughtfully and complete their task. Plus, I really, really like hearing them acknowledge that I've spoken and do, indeed, exist. It extends my patience by miles.
Working for me for over a year. I say, "yes, mama!" I get back a chorus of "yes mamas!" That makes me feel quite pleased.
ReplyDeleteWhen my daughter was en elementary school and I was feeling unheard, my MIL suggested that she repeat back to me the essence of whatever conversation we had just had together and I found that to work really well. I speak; she summarizes; we agree with each other... Life continues. (she's pregnant with her first-i couldn't be happier)
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