Toddler Tricks - 90: Go Second

Problem: I don't know if this is a twin thing or not, but in this house, going second is the ultimate punishment. It is a slight to character, an insult to humanity. And the girls have quickly realized that if one of them gets to go first, the other one must be going second. The horror! With only one sink, this makes teeth-brushing a chore. With only one downstairs bathroom, going potty is torture. Taking turns with a toy has gone from precarious niceties to automatic tantrums because "She always goes first," and "Now, I'm going second."

 Solution: To circumvent this, I end up going second a lot. Mommies are meant to go second, I think. This is only going to work for so long. As of now, I can convince them that they are both going first and mommy is going second. They grudgingly accept that, but you can tell they know it isn't right.

A longer term solution, which hopefully will work better as they grow, is taking turns taking turns. So that if one twin goes first for something, the next twin goes first for the next thing. Then you can remind them. "Dulce, you went first getting dressed this morning, so Lilly will go first to get her chocolate milk. Lilly, you went first for your drink, so Dulce will go first washing her hands."

Just make sure you don't forget who went first the time before! That way leads to tears.

We have an even more complicated organization, where firsts are categorized. There are food firsts, bathroom firsts, games firsts, and clothing firsts. And the turns are specific to each category. I'm trying to whittle all this down because that's a lot of firsts to remember. But even when I mess up, I'm able to tell them, "don't worry, mommy will go second."

"Is mommy also thumbs down, and I'm thumbs up?"

Mommy takes a lot of guff, I'd say.

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