Preschool Pointers - 8: Praise

Problem: Your kids only behave some of the time, and you want to increase that to all of the time, but reprimanding them doesn't seem to do much good, or curb the blowouts, especially when they're already underway.

Solution: Take an active approach at all times, so that you're not only talking to them about expectations when they're not reaching them. When they do something good or responsible, at any time, praise them. Let them know that you expect that kind of behavior and how happy and proud you are that they are doing it. If you practice this type of praise, you'll notice you'll be talking to them a lot, several times an hour, about how wonderful they're doing. Many times the correct behaviors go by unnoticed, not only by the adults, but by the kids, and by the time you've straightened out bad behavior for the fifth time that day, you've forgotten the 20 good times. But the more a child hears how nice and well-behaved they are, the more they want to hear it. They start to believe that it's easy to be good, and that is what we want. If we spend most of our time correcting bad behavior without the corresponding praise, their self-image changes so that they feel it's just too hard to live up to expectations and they don't try. Everyone likes to be appreciated, adult or child.