Guest Post - Surviving a Divorce

Today I am lucky enough to have a guest blogger talking about a very sensitive subject: divorce.

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In the US, there is one divorce every 13 seconds. That’s 6,646 divorces per day, 46,523 divorces per week, and 2,419,196 every single year. Sadly to say, divorce is a very common act in this day in age. With that being said, if you’re currently in the process of a divorce, you’re not immune to the challenges of it, no matter how much you try and think differently. Experiencing all of the emotions that come from the breakdown of a marriage is a very large weight on your shoulders, even in the best situations. But from here on out, you have to think that you are on the journey to a new beginning and a new life. The divorce process can be quite a lengthy one, especially if children are involved. Never, ever wait for everything to be finalized before you start living your life to the best of your ability. Every single day is precious and no matter how down you feel, you have to remember that. Here are a few tips of coping and moving forward.

1. Your social life: If you aren’t one of the 5 billion people currently on a social media network, now may be a good time to give it a go. It’s a great way to reconnect with old friends and perhaps making new ones. Word of advice though, stray away from distasteful photos, posts, or comments as if found, they can be used in court. Also don’t advice “friending” your ex.

2. Your professional life: Maybe you’ve taken a break from the workforce or you’ve been working at home but now might a good time to think about a career change for the future. This may not necessarily be the right time for a huge career jump but definitely to start networking. Reach out to old and current colleagues, go through your contact list and get back into the loop. In today’s digital age, everyone is interested in networking. If you are currently not employed, contact your college or graduate school and see if there are any upcoming alumni events. Get back into the loop.

3. Divorce talk: Choose one friend, or better yet a therapist, to talk about your divorce. While it may not seem like it at the time, people may listen for a few weeks but they do have their own personal problems and lives and may not want to consistently listen to yours constantly. When anyone asks how you are, always answer in a positive note. You may find it a little hard to say, “Great!” so instead say, “I’m in the right direction.” and then move forward in the conversation. If you consistently have to talk about your divorce, you may feel drained and this may lead you away from your new goals.

4. Breathe: When you wake up, take a deep breath. Make time for a quiet time in your day to breathe and collect yourself.

5. Exercise: Make sure you keep yourself in shape and healthy. Take yoga, swim, walk the stairs, dance, anything. Just keep moving and it’ll help reduce your stress.

6. Sleep: This may seem like a challenge, especially in the beginning, but you cannot survive without sleep.

7: Create: Start your new life. Make goals. Starting over can provide you with so many new opportunities. Visualize how you want your new future and go after it.

8: Bad mouthing: Never speak ill of your ex, no matter how angry you are. Your time will be much better spent speaking about the positivity in your life. Be very careful to never speak badly about your ex in front of your children. They are a very large part of your spouse's life and it may upset them to hear that. Keep any divorce conversations away; you must protect them from any negativity.

9. Forgiveness: We all make mistakes, it is human nature. Whether you chose the wrong spouse or perhaps didn't invest as much as you had wanted in your marriage. Learn from it and move on.

10: Focus on the good: Every breath you take is a blessing. As horrible as you feel, there are probably millions who would trade places with you. Live, laugh, love.

There IS life after divorce, it is up to you to move forward and be the best you can be. Opportunities are there, just go for them.

About the author: Shannon is a mother to a 2 year old, divorced, co-parenting, and the marketing coordinator for FlexiblePVC.net, a vinyl tubing supplier. To contact her, email her at
flexiblepvc@gmail.com today.