Don’t Let Bullies Affect Your Child’s Mental Health - s post

Every parent knows that at some point his or her kid will face bullying. It is as much a right of growing up as is learning to ride a bike, or getting your first kiss. Unfortunately, in recent years bullying, and cyberbullying especially, has become more of a serious problem. Kids are faced with the possibility of near constant derision because of social media. It can be hard for some kids to escape that cycle.

As a parent you can take steps to help your child overcome bullies. We all want our kids to grow up strong and good. It is a parent’s responsibility to stop the symptoms of bullying and equip their children with the abilities to overcome it. It is a problem but not one that should rule your or your child’s life.

Common Signs of Bullying

If you can spot the signs of bullying in your child, you have already won half the battle. It may seem obvious but often these signs can go unnoticed for weeks or months at a time. Common physical signs can include unexplained bruises, bumps or cuts, as well as appearing to be depressed, sad or mood. Other symptoms to look out for include more time spent alone, a decrease in friends, a decline in grades of schoolwork and no longer enjoying school in general. Victims of bullying often take alternate routes to school or ask to “stay home” frequently.

More extreme examples include loss of appetite, physical sickness, trouble falling asleep and recurring nightmares. Many of these symptoms overlap, and sometimes work independently of each other, and could be linked to other issues separate from bullying. Still, knowing that these symptoms could be the result of bullying is the first step in helping your child.

What You Can Do

The number one thing you can do to find out if your child is being bullied or not is listen to them. Too often parents fall into the same traps as their kids do. Whether it’s being endlessly attached to social media, or too busy with work, the result is a lack of communication between parent and child.

Engaging in conversations, and listening without judgement when your child is speaking can increase the chance of you finding out whether he or she is being bullied. Often kids will test the waters, revealing a little bit of information without telling the whole story to see how a parent will react. A quick negative reaction can shut down avenues of communication. Being an active listener, by asking open-ended questions can go a long way.

Once you know your child is being bullied there are some easy common-sense steps to take. First Talking to the teacher or school counselor is a good place to start. They can give you insight to how your child or the bully normally conducts themselves in the classroom. Make sure you are specific in describing the actions the bully is doing to your child. Almost all schools have a code of conduct you can refer to. Use this to check if the school is doing what they are supposed to, which should be providing a safe environment for your child to learn in. Keep records of incidents, emails, and communication with any school officials. It could come in handy if things aren’t solved and you need to turn to legal help.

In some cases, parents are left with little choice but to pursue legal action. If harassment is not stopping, then using whatever legal means you can to end the bullying is necessary. Often it is the parents of the bully child that are on the hook for his or her actions. Showing that you are willing to pursue a personal injury claim, and hold the parents responsible for their kid’s behavior, can be motivation enough for parents to step in. Compensation can differ depending on the specifics of each case, so again it is important to keep a detailed record of everything that is said between you, your child, the school and any communication with the bully or their family. You can contact your local attorney, such as Ghozland Law Firm, an auto injury attorney in Diamond Bar that also specializes in personal injury cases, to find out what legal action you can take.

To Fight or Not to Fight?

For many parents the solution to bullying is simple, especially when it comes to boys. Stand up for yourself, and if a kid hits you then you hit back twice as hard. I know I was raised this way, and it can be true under specific circumstances. It can be worth it to teach your kids how to defend themselves. However, this approach also fails to identify the modern aspects of bullying. The big kid stealing lunch money and doling out wedgies still does exist, but the most destructive bullying you see nowadays is more psychological. The ubiquitous nature of social media means kids can experience bullying 24/7. You are better off improving your kid’s self-esteem and teaching them to think and believe in themselves than how to throw a right hook. Too often kids are left to deal with the consequences of being they are told they are inferior and worthless, without any tools to combat that negativity. Its ok to teach your kids to defend themselves, but be aware that might just be the tip of the iceberg.