Filing for Divorce? 7 Things You Need to Know - s post

Made the decision to file for divorce? Or perhaps you have been separated for some time, and you're now ready to make it official?

Before going further, here are 7 things experts want you to know before you begin the process.

1. Spousal support is not guaranteed.

According to Miller & Steiert, divorce lawyers in Denver, “Maintenance, also known as spousal support, isn't part of every divorce case. When considering maintenance awards, the court will look at the finances of both spouses, what time is needed for that spouse to get an education or training that will help him or her get an appropriate job, and how the couple lived during the marriage. The physical age, health and emotional condition of the spouse seeking support is also considered, along with the length of the marriage. Spousal support is not meant to be permanent; it's a short-term net so the receiving spouse can get back on his or her feet post-divorce.”

2. Lawyers are not financial advisers.

Experts over at Time.com suggest that you hire and consult a financial adviser if you are considering a divorce. They warn it could be the difference between financial stability and financial disaster. Unfortunately, many people ask for advice when it is too late. That is, after the papers have been signed. But the time to do it is when negotiations are still open. Also, while lawyers can give you legal counsel, they are not financial advisers, and shouldn't be looked on as such.

3. Living on one income will require financial adjustments.

Up till now, you have likely been living off two incomes. With two incomes, you could afford a couple vacations a year and less mindfulness about small purchases made on the fly. On a single budget, things will look and feel different for you. You will need to adjust accordingly so that you don't overspend in the months immediately following your separation.

4. Parenting plans help smooth out rough spots.

Have children? Establishing a parenting plan as soon as possible will help you both have a clear idea of what is expected of each. Many snags can be ironed out beforehand by agreeing up front on the following:

Ÿ   how the child divides time between each parent

Ÿ   how information relating to school and other factors is shared between parents

Ÿ   how decisions are made regarding the child's health

Ÿ   how parenting decisions are made regarding other aspects of the child's life

5. Divorce doesn't erase all your problems.

Were you expecting a happily ever after once you got that problem partner out of your life? Unfortunately, life does not often work out according to our fantasies. If children are involved, you will likely still be in contact with your ex-partner to discuss parenting issues. And even if you have no children, you will need time to heal from the emotional stress of a difficult relationship. Few lives are entirely free of problems. But choosing your battles and understanding what steps to take to solve them is half the battle won.

6. Be prepared for lots of emotions.

Regardless of who initiated the split, a divorce often comes with feelings of sadness, grief, loss, and anxiety. Depression is also common for those going through a separation. Knowing that these feelings are natural to those in your situation can help you weather the storm. As you learn to let go of your previous relationship and the baggage that comes with it, you may be hit with guilt and feelings of inadequacy. Have a trusted friend or family member on speed dial. Keeping a brave face is okay for certain situations, but also know when asking for help is the right thing to do.

7. Counseling and therapy help.

Having the support of family and friends is invaluable for your emotional recovery. However, getting professional counseling is a step that can make sure that you do not strain your close relationships.

Certain professional counselors and therapists specialize in helping people work through a divorce. And can give you specific counsel and advice for your situation. Having an outside party, one who is not closely connected to your personal life, give you their perspective can be invaluable. If you are unsure if professional help is right for you, try out one session. Often, individuals make exponential progress in many areas of their life through seeing a therapist. And counseling can be a springboard for growth in areas that have remained stagnant for a long time.